Ryan Hitomi was bored. More than usual. Being a translator at San Francisco International Airport meant most of the time sitting on his butt the whole day staring at immigrants coming and going. At least you’re getting paid, his subconscious told him, It could be worse. He whipped out his Palm Pilot and started playing Super Mario RPG. Everything is so damn high tech. As he defeated was close to defeating Bowser with Mario’s super Fireball attack, the Palm Pilot flashed and flickered out. He turned it back on and this message appeared-
“Your batteries are dead. Please HotSync and recharge them as soon as possible. Thank you and have a nice day :-)”
Ryan wanted to strangle that happy face. Hmm….maybe there is a used Palm Pilot in the lost and found box. Fortunately, Hitomi’s desk was placed conveniently next to the lost and found section. San Francisco International Airport’s Lost and Found was like a cluttered closet. So many an item had yet to be reclaimed. There were suitcases dating back to the early 1990s. Often, the flight attendants would wait two days before taking the kawaii objects home for themselves. Ryan’s eyes spotted a black tuff.
Could it be a Palm Pilot? Ryan thought eagerly.
It was a cute black pig. The pig was knocked unconscious. Someone had brought the pig in just minutes ago.
“Aww…someone lost his pet,” Ryan smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll find your owner.”
Ryan carefully hugged the pig. It was still a little damp from the rain. He sat the pig on his desk, right next to his Styrofoam cup filled with warm coffee. The coffee spilled onto the table and onto the pig. “Damnit!” Hitomi shouted angrily. “Just my luck! I’ll just have to get a towel.” As he was about to leave, he felt hot breath heavily behind him. Ryan turned back around. He was standing face to face with a sexy young nude Japanese man on all fours on top of his desk.
“THAT WAS HOT!!!” the young boy screamed.
Ryan opened his eyes to the face of a masterpiece. The young man had chiseled features. Short, soft, loose black hair the color of midnight. Most of it was wrapped tightly by a bright yellow bandana with imprints of leopard on it. Except for one tuff of hair, which was left loose to blow with the wind. The face was clearly that of an innocent young boy but with the chiseled edges of a man. A small but chiseled nose perked up. The mesmerizing brown eyes looked at Ryan with concern. His tough but smooth lips started to move. Please be Prince Charming. Ryan prayed.
“Uh, gomen nasai,” the boy started. “I’ve just been staring at you for the past hour.”
You sure have, Ryan grinned wickedly. “It’s been half an hour?”
“Yes,” the boy studdered. “I’m that, uh, I’m that pig you splashed coffee on.”
If this was Candid Camera, they were doing a really good job. Ryan thought.
“Let me see your passport. Ah, you’re from Japan. I’m amazed about how well you speak English, Mr. Hibiki.”
“Let’s just say I picked up a few languages along the way,” Ryoga stammered. He was right. He wandered many times into America-town, the popular Western restaurant in Japan and picked up conversations from tourists and waiters. He had been waiting to show off how much he knew.
“I’m impressed,” Ryan said. “My name is Ryan Hitomi.” He pointed to his badge proudly as he sucked in some air. Hopefully, his pectorals had inflated like balloons over the small card on his chest.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ryan-san,” Ryoga smiled. Ryan thought he could just die. Ryoga had a cute smirk, perfect teeth. But were those incisors actually real fangs? “Yes,” Ryan replied. “Well, I am going to give you my number and send you on your way. I bet your family is worried about you.”
“Actually, I have nowhere to go,” Ryoga stammered. “I really don’t know anyone here.
“Well, my shift is over,” Ryan continued. “You can stay at my apartment for a night or two until we get you settled into living in the US.”
“Oh really?!” Ryoga jumped excitedly, almost landing on top of Ryan (which is what Hitomi would have wanted anyways.) He realized he looked like a total idiot. He moved back and put his hand behind his end embarrassingly. “Thank you very much.”
“No problem,” Ryan said, still shocked about how a stud just leaped on top of him. Back to the real world. “Now if there is anything that I can do for you…”
“Clearly, I’m still naked,” Ryoga continued. Ryoga got up. His smooth and toned body shone with the limelight in the background. Ryan started to get sweaty.
“Oh shit! You are!” Ryan said. “Well, how about I wear my uniform home tonight and you can borrow the clothing in my locker.”
“Doozo yoroshiku*,” Ryoga
bowed. Ryan could see the perfect back muscles arching out like soft spikes
as Hibiki lowered himself. Hitomi turned away quickly before his perverted eyes
could peer any lower on the boy’s handsome person.
As he walked out of the airport, Ryoga felt like the biggest idiot in the world. He was so used to wearing jogging pants that the tight and clingy Dockers jeans were so hard to walk in. Adding to his pain, the tight blue T-shirt that embarrassingly said “Man’s Lumber: You Can’t Beat Our Wood!”* wrapped around his chest like a python death grip forcing his tight pectorals to burst out. Clearly, Ryoga’s physique was showing. People were giving him funny looks as he walked.
Is this what all Americans wore?
“I thought the John Wayne cowboy look was in,” Ryoga gasped. “Isn’t this thing a little bit too tight?”
“Nope, that was decades ago,” Ryan said. “The tighter the better. Us Asian twinks have to get smaller outfits if we want to show ANYTHING.” Ryan was the king of tight clothing. Heck, his favorite place to go was Gap Kids.
However, Ryan’s car was very mature. A four-seated shiny white Lexus C-class awaited them in the parking lot. I am so glad I washed the car yesterday, Hitomi smiled. Didn’t know I was expecting guests, hehe. Ryoga tried not to damage the leather interior. He had never been in the car. Since him and the whole Ranma gang tended to chase each other (which gave him very chiseled legs indeed) all across Japan, Ryoga never bothered learning how to drive. Cars were too expensive in Japan and it was much easier running all over the islands by foot. He also knew that he would also be a horrible driving hazard if he ever did learn. Ryan sat in the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition. The sound of a raging tiger burst out through the engine. And that tiger would lead him safely home with his new companion.
As they got onto the freeway, Ryan started turning on National Public Radio. However, he noticed that Ryoga wasn’t very happy about that. Hitomi grinned to himself and changed to the all-techno station. “Is that Blue Danube?” Ryoga asked suddenly. He had heard it before in clubs he wandered into. The sensuous beats repeated as memories of flashing lights, shimmering disco globes filled his head.
“Uh-huh,” Ryan grinned. “The opening song of Queer as Folk episode one. It is really captivating isn’t it?”
“Yea,” Ryoga said. Try to hide the truth dumbass. “Any cute girls at the airport?”
“Nor really,” Ryan replied. “Just a bunch of hot white guys in tight uniforms.”
“Um,” Ryoga started. “I was just wondering, but, are you yaoi*?”
“Yamanashi ochinashi iminashi? Honey, I’m more than yaoi,” Ryan grinned. “I live in San Francisco!” Suddenly, Ryan had an epiphany.
Only yaoi guys actually
knew what the word yaoi meant.
Some Notes: *yaoi- omigod, if you don’t know this word…. “Is actually the Abbreviation for "yama-nashi ochi-nashi imi-nashi", which can be roughly translated as "no climax, no resolution, no meaning". It typically involves homosexual love between two males. It can also be an umbrella term including shounen-ai and shota-com, but yaoi is usually in reference to adult males. It's closest counterpart in the West is SLASH (see definition). Yaoi is often very graphic sexually” (as found on Rryaoi- http://www.blooddance.com/rryaoi)
*Ryoga’s funny t-shirt can
be found on Kleptomaniac.com