Chapter Eighteen




Tick. Tock.

Shampoo stared at the clock. The minute hand seemed to linger longer than ever as the puny second hand made its regular spin around the plane.

The faint sound of a lecture entered one ear and out of another. Shampoo’s mind wandered as she reflected on the last few month’s events.

Like, how the heck did she end up in this state? A few months ago, she had the comforts of a college sorority sister. A warm house. A cushy bed. A gaggle of girls who were as high maintenance as her and actually knew what foundation was. Heck, what a leg razor was.

Now, she was a refugee at the lesbian sorority shack, which smelled mostly of pizza and beer. And leaky pipes. And used tampons. If only these womyn warriors were as passionate about hygiene as they were about Judith Halberstam.

And Shampoo felt trapped there. She lost most of her “friends” when she lost her sorority. She also did not want to leave

And above all, she was lacking sleep. An aspect called dyke drama.

Y’see, Alex was now dating a girl named Victoria who was Megan’s ex and now those two former friends weren’t talking to each other, except to yell about which one was the more “psycho bitch.” Meanwhile, Kasey and Crystal hooked up after one too many trips with Puff the Magic Dragon. And were feeling extremely awkward about the experience. Worse, Kasey was now hooking up with Crystal’s best friend Sky, a spoken word poet who spouted out poetry in the middle of the night after too many shots of tequila. Melissa and Grace, the on-again/off-again sorority couple were off-again now that Grace had discovered Jesus and Jose, a suave member of the agape club, and their arguments about sexuality as a choice would be followed by the sound of cracking pottery and Grace’s frustration that the landlord would not let her out of her lease at “the house of heathens.”

And Jamie hid in her room, practicing her debut at the Michigan Womyn’s Festival with her guitar long into the night, singing songs about menstruation, the sacred feminine, and crap like that. Out of tune, of course.

Shampoo did not wonder why she would wear extra layers of foundation beneath her baggy eyes.

The minute and finally reached its destination and the professor dismissed the class. Still blinking in disbelief, Shampoo picked up her books and left the room. She didn’t even hear about the homework assignment. She would find it in the syllabus anyways. Probably more Judith Halberstam crap.

But Shampoo did not have time for that right now. She would need to scurry over to the Queer Resource Center where she was needed. The volunteers were planning the campus’ first Queer Prom to counteract the homophobic Greek gala. She would enjoy the walk under the bright shining sun.

A distraction of a different kind was waiting for her. Specifically, a long-legged, doe-eyed distraction wearing a leather jacket and tight blue jeans, with a blood red motorcycle between her legs.

“Hi,” Jane said.

Shampoo stumbled for words. “I’m late for a meeting,” Shampoo said quickly. She could see Alex hiding in the bushes, ready to pounce on her.

“You haven’t called,” Jane said. “Ever since the party...”

Shampoo shrugged the sour pineapple-rubbing alcohol-filled memories. “I’ve been busy.”

“That’s good,” Jane sighed. It was an awkward situation. “Look, I won’t keep you if you have some place to go. I just wanted to make sure that you are alright.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” Shampoo said. “Is that what you say to all the girls?”

“I only see one,” Jane said smoothly. “I like your skirt.”

“Thanks,” Shampoo said awkwardly. She felt a little bit girly wearing a floral skirt. She threw Jane a bone. “I don’t get much laundry done at the Sapphic house. The machine is broken all the time.”

Jane laughed. “Ah, casa de cunt,” Jane said. “Now, you know why I’m never there. Except to see Alex…”

Wrong word. “I’ve gotta go,” Shampoo said. But she couldn’t move. Her mind said go, but her body said no. It was like being in front of Ukyou again.

“I wanted to know if you wanted to partake in some non-alcoholic fun,” Jane said. “And I’m not going to throw in tofu. I know you get enough of that and drama from the house.” She hesitated. “I know this great sorbet place at the Embarcadero Center in San Francisco. We could ride my motorbike there.”

“I could get into so much trouble if I said yes,” Shampoo said. Namely, Alex trouble.

“And that’s what makes it so enticing,” Jane said soothingly. “I know you like trouble. It’s all over the front page of the newspaper.”

Shampoo’s mind was racing. Playing hooky and going across the bay. What about the Queer Prom? What about Alex and all of her threats? What about homework?

Fuck them. I can deal with them later.

“Hop on,” Jane said. She tossed Shampoo a helmet . The motorcycle hummed at her touch.

And that’s when Shampoo realized that there were some perks about being a lesbian.


To tell you the honest truth, I had writers block. But now, I know where Shampoo’s storyline is heading. Heck, I know where most of the book is heading too.

Watch out, Aldrich is back. And he is fierce with the drama.

Read on

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